I’m going to make a confession.
My energy thrives on creation, innovation, and collaboration. When the world retreated into its shell during COVID-19, I felt that high-octane part of my soul dimming and afterwards even I found re-entry awkward and difficult, I still find sitting home and binging on the latest show to be very enticing. I coach agents and business owners on defining success on their terms, and I have always loved matching my clients with the community that perfectly fits their unique lifestyle. Both approaches always begin with community.
But how do you match people with community when the very idea of "community" felt like a Red Brick house we weren’t allowed to enter? The long shadow of isolation has left many of us asking the most vital questions of our growth: How do I reach out? Do I even remember how to build community?
Connectedness isn't just a passion of mine; it's a fundamental prerequisite for succeeding, growing, and thriving. If our differences are what make the world work, we need each other to pull the levers.
Understanding the Need for Re-emergence
The need for connection hasn’t changed; our capacity to apply it has just gotten a little rusty. If our differences make the world work, our connections make the work purposeful.
Isolation taught us many things about reality-based planning—like how to use video calls for everything—but it couldn't replicate the contagious enthusiasm that happens in a room when passion ignites. We are wired to belong. But the "how-to" looks very different depending on how you spark joy.
Here are the findings based on the strongest academic and governmental consensus:
Loneliness as a Public Health Epidemic:
In a 2023 advisory, the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, officially declared loneliness and social isolation a public health epidemic. The advisory established loneliness as a significant threat to public health.
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The effects of loneliness on longevity are conversationally compared to established health risks, specifically showing an impact comparable to smoking on one’s lifespan.
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Research conversationally accepted as foundational in the field indicates that strong social connections significantly increase the likelihood of survival.
Fulfillment, Health, and Relationships:
The Harvard Study of Adult Development—the longest-running study of human happiness ever conducted (tracking participants for over 80 years)—concluded that the single most important predictor of our happiness, health, and longevity is the quality of our relationships.
So, What are you going to do? Where do we go from here? I wanted to share some practical ways to reconnect and find a sense of belonging in ways that fit your personality and lifestyle. Our differences make the world work. It’s design. But re-igniting that spark of contagious connectedness is what makes it a world we want to live in.
Connection on Your Terms: The Application for Reaching Out
One thing I see constantly in coaching is that people assume connection means "party-thrower." Absolutely not. I believe we are distinct by design and approach to connection should be, too.
For the Extrovert
COVID was your personal kryptonite. You fuel others, and your energy is contagious, you are also fueled by others. For you, the re-emergence is about igniting passion in others.
The How-To:
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Acknowledge that video doesn’t cut it.
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Re-prioritize shared physical space with intention. Don’t just gather to gather; gather to create or succeed. Innovate your next meeting.
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Turn a standard coffee chat into a walking brainstorming session or meet over pedicures.
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Create a Salon event, game night or outing to remind people that re-emergence is a creative act.
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Use your contagious enthusiasm to gather a group to volunteer.
For the Introvert (Be The Curious Connector)
You might have found a unique sense of peace during isolation, but perhaps you’ve realized that peace doesn’t pay the soul-bills of collaborating or the actual bills. Your energy is valuable, and you are selective. You connect on quality of connectedness, not quantity.
The How-To: Your goal is matching. Focus on finding the community that fits your unique lifestyle, not the biggest party.
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Do something you love or something you have longed to try, take a friend or use this time to meet a new friend.
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Book a 1-on-1 with one person who ignites a shared passion.
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Join a small class to learn something new: a language, skill, or hobby.
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Volunteer for something that really matters to you.
Your superpower is the high-value connection, the kind where you "define success on your terms."
At a loss as to what to say, read my friend Rosmary Ravenal’s blog post “How to Talk to Anyone”
Reaching Out and Rebuilding
Connectedness isn’t just about who we are. For me, it has always been about Growth, fulfillment and purpose. Our connections give us the strength to grow and succeed in the most valuable way. I promise you that people want to hear from you, they want to know they matter to you, new people want to belong and feel they matter.
How are you reaching out today? Defining success lately? Experiencing Fulfillment?
